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Laura

To The Left. Coast.

by LauraMarch 4, 2010
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For the safety of myself and the people around me, I need to get the fuck on outta here for a minute.  I’ve never fought anyone in my life, but I’m pretty sure I’m a good week away from murdering your face if I don’t get some sun and fun up in my life, for [...]

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Fake It to Make It

by LauraFebruary 2, 2010
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No, not love-making related faking.  I know you might have thought that since The Holiday is upon us. But yeah no, I’m not really going to write anything about that. Not in, like, a bitter way or anything.  It’s just that I’m single and have no creative ideas to suggest, so go have dinner and [...]

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Imma look like Giselle!

by LauraJanuary 5, 2010
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Happy New Year!  Good luck with all that “eating right” stuff.  Sucker.
I, for one, have vowed to become an acrobat.  With rhythm.  And a side of self defense.
Enter, Au Capoeira.  A combination of music, dance, self-defense, ritual, and way of life.  Otherwise known as Peep My Strong Arms and Tiny Waist As I Make It Look Really Easy [...]

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Pimp My Pump

by LauraDecember 1, 2009
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You ever think, “Man, if I could just invent something that people actually want, all my problems would go away and I could laugh and laugh at the old days when I didn’t have a boat and five houses and a staff masseuse and a constant selection of meat and cheese and God, I used to live [...]

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Breast in Show

by LauraNovember 3, 2009
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I’ll be honest, I can’t remember the last time I bought a bra.  Like a calendar, or socks, bras are something my mom buys me from Marshalls every Christmas so I don’t have to.  Needless to say, my bras may lack a lot of the things that most women look for in undergarments.  Proper fit, [...]

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iReview: I am T-Pain

by LauraSeptember 17, 2009

So, I know T-Pain might not be the most “respected” “musician”, and that he’s sorta “incapable” of “hitting” “notes” “naturally”, and that maybe I “can’t” “reach” all the “parts” of my “body”, but the new “I Am T-Pain” iPhone app is the best thing that’s happened to drinking wine at home alone in your underwear [...]

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