So it’s mid-August and it’s safe to say that I will successfully make it to fall without owning or purchasing a pair of flip-flops all summer. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a flop. They’re easy, cute, and casual, but unfortunately, Burger also loves them. In his mouth. And after that happened earlier this year, I just never brought myself to buy another pair for this season. See, I refuse to spend more than like, $5 on flip flops, I’m sorry. All those $18+ Havaianas can find another foot to fashion cause mama’s not havin’ it. I also don’t buy costly pens, umbrellas, or sunglasses, because a) I lose things like that and b) I rather not sweat it too much when I do. It pretty much comes down to an embarrassing level of laziness, as opposed to personal style, that led me sandal-astray this year. I straight-up did not want to trek to an Old Navy. Bottom line.
Instead, I’ve been rocking shoes. Three pairs of slip-ons, to be exact. These shoes have been my sole-sisters on vacation to Miami, a cruise, trips home to the pool, being at bars, a million degree dog walks, and general out-of-houseness, and honestly, I haven’t really missed slipping my piggies into some thongs at all. If flip flops are g-strings, my feet prefer boyshorts.
Let me introduce you!
The boat-shoes. I bought these Sperry Top-Siders at Shoegasm on 23rd st. for $80. I hesitated over the price for about 3 minutes before following through because I knew in my heart that I’d wear the shit out of these bad boys on the daily. And boy have I. They are super comfortable, have cute little silver accent piping, and the color goes great with almost anything. I usually rock them with denim cut-off shorts and a baggy t-shirt, a casual mini, or even a few light dresses. Despite their fancy-pant nature, they’re the most casual of my summer shoes; sorta preppy and classic, but also totally backyard bbq and obviously, yacht-fucking-rock.
Next up, the Keds. A step up on the casual ladder, I bought these for $40. The newest Ked collection is pretty awesome. Tons of patterns and colors and materials. I rock these with shorts and skinny jeans. They’re loud, but not obnoxious. A nice little accent to an all-black or mostly black outfit, as well as complementing red and white really well. My feet are pretty wide and these run pretty narrow so it took a few dates to really start feeling comfortable with each other. Even still, they tend to hurt me from time to time, but god love ‘em! Story of my life.
Lastly, meet my Melissa’s. Rubber babies from Brazil. Plastic, I guess, technically, but whatever. I bought these for $50 at a little boutique in Jersey City. I went into the store looking for a beach bag and fell in love with these little guys. They’re like jellies, but not. So fucking comfortable, it’s stupid. Fit like a glove and go with everything. They add a little dress-up to most things casual, but are also easy enough to slip on for a trip to the beach or to the store for some milk. ‘Cause dontcha just wanna skip to the store for some milk in a little checkered dress wearing these? I do. And do. I feel pretty in them. Lady-like. Dainty. Demure. And easy to kick off when ya gots to chase a bitch! They come in lots of colors and patterns, too. I mostly wear them with a nicer pair of shorts and dress-tanks, skirts, and summer dresses. They’re my flat high heels, have you. Also, I can clean them in the sink with the dishes. Not that that I do. Cough.
So there you have it, guys! You can live flip-flop free, too! It’s easy! And chic! So get those hogs out of my face and cover yourself up! Hussy.
