Now that Memorial Day is behind us, we have officially kicked into the summer rental season.
What? Your not renting a fab house this season? No worries, you’re a jet setter: chances are you have friends that are!
It is unbelievably important to review the proper etiquette of being a guest even if it is just for the evening or a weekend. I mean, you want to be invited back again next year, right?
Since you are of the jet set you are probably well versed, but even the most seasoned guest could be reminded of a few helpful hints:
- Promptly RSVP. Most invites these days are informal, via email or a phone call. For example, during a phone conversation perhaps your friend will say “Why don’t you head over to our place/rental this weekend?” It is important that you either confirm your attendance immediately or by end of day. Your host needs to know if the guest room will be taken. If not, then she can offer the room to another guest. It is very rude to keep your host hanging… and a easy way not to get invited in the future.
- Arrival & Departure. After confirming that you would love nothing more than to visit, be sure to plan your arrival and your departure, just like you would at any other five-star resort. This clearly defines for both the hostess and you what time to check-in and get the party started as well as when it is time to “jet”. Overstaying your visit is a big jet setter no-no.
- Hostess Gift. It is de riguer to bring a hostess gift to show your appreciation. Remember: they didn’t have to invite you. They could have spent a relaxing weekend at the house alone. Show your appreciation for the invite. After all, you are getting a stay at a vacation house for free. My suggestions for great gifts that guarantee future invites are:
- Send a bouquet of flowers prior to your arrival with a thoughtful note “Looking forward to spending time with you this weekend.”
- Candles. A hostess goes through candles like a drag queen does mascara. So buy a bunch of tapers and tie them together with a beautiful ribbon.
- The Routine. When you arrive start your small talk by getting familiar with the family routine. This shows that you are considerate of their needs. A gracious host will stay up until their guests turn-in for the night. If you find out that they usually go to bed around 9; then retire to your room at that hour and finish your NYLON magazine until you fall asleep. Just as important as bedtime is the morning routine. Inquire what time breakfast is so that you get a feel for if they are early birds. Nothing is worse than sleeping in to find out your hostess had breakfast on the table. Hate to break it to you; if they are early birds you should be too!
- Meals. It is important to give your hostess a heads-up if you have any dietary restrictions or preferences in food. You may find yourself taking a trip to the market with her, if so do pay for the groceries. Inquire if you can help in any food prep and if you are not taken up on it, try to keep her company in the kitchen whilst she caters to your needs. If you find yourself dining out every meal, it would be in good form to pick up one of the checks (I like to use my “bathroom break” to go to the hostess or waiter and give them my credit card prior to the check arriving at the table to ensure all is taken care of).
- Pets. If you are allergic, take your Zyrtec before arriving and leave it at that. It is so insulting to have a guest go on and on how allergic they are to cats when “Meow Meow” is roaming around. Please do not assume that a invite includes Fifi. If you always bring your Chihuahua with you wherever you go, inquire if Fifi is in the plans. Lastly and perhaps most important, do not scold or try to discipline your hostess pet; this is clearly not your role. If Spike keeps trying to hump your leg, demurely fend him off; I’m certain your hostess will be mortified and take the necessary steps to prohibit that from happening again.
- Your Room/Bathroom. Even if your best friend happens to be a trustafarian with staff, MAKE YOUR OWN BED and keep the room tidy as it was when you first arrived. If your guest room is sans bathroom and you have to share a bathroom in the hallway keep your trips limited to 30 minutes at a time at most. Remember to wipe down the sink to remove toothpaste trails as well as any hair in the shower drain (this is a major pet peeve of mine).
- Be Careful of Personal Differences. Do not throw a hissy fit if the quaint town your visiting does not have a Starbucks. Deal! If your hostess goes to Church on Sundays mornings and you’re an atheist, figure out a way to keep yourself entertained. If your host is vegan and you’re a carnivore…. guess what? You’re a vegan too that weekend! The hostess always leads…..
- Merci! We all know the importance of a handwritten note. Take the time to pull out your Mrs. John L. Strong stationery and reflect on a funny part of the weekend or piece of advice dispensed that stuck with you with your heartwarming gratitude.
The weekend will fly by, but nothing beats the memories crafted with good friends. They last forever.
Photo by Dilipkumar via Flickr.
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