I’m turning thirty next week. To celebrate this momentous occasion when I finally become a Woman, Mr. Smith is taking me to Amsterdam, where we will consume massive amounts of drugs and party all night with hookers, cause that’s what adults do…. No? Okay fine, we’ll eat pancakes and visit the Botanical Garden. Sigh.
Honestly, I am excited to be getting older. I got a job, I got a Mr. Smith, I got great friends and my dog is adorable. Life is good so things can only get better! I’m an incurable optimist.
Also, I could never remember how old I was in my twenties. Apparently I’ve been telling people I’m “almost 30” since I was 25, so this will make things simpler for me. This is probably a sign of mental decline, but I’m okay with that as long as I gain some wisdom in my old age instead. And respect. As we all know, the young ones respect their elders. Right, Rodney?
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