There are a lot of theories as to why people find things funny. According to an anonymous Austro-Indonesian Pastor’s wife on the venerated site www.answerbag.com, humor or “humour” as she cleverly refers to it is “subjective”. While that may be true in Indonesia, and she might actually be a pastor’s wife (show me the ring), the fact of the matter is that in most cases humor is not subjective. The reason it’s not is that most people segregate themselves into groups of friends and acquaintances that generally come from similar backgrounds or have similar tastes. Friends are friends because they can, in some way, relate to each other and unless you’re the next Dane Cook (irony alert!) this tiny sampling of the population is going to be your audience 99% percent of the time. I got that number from answerbag, in case you were wondering.
Friends and like minded people will find the same things funny so my basic point is that if you tell a joke and only you think it’s funny, then the joke isn’t funny. It’s not that your friends can’t recognize your genius, it’s that your zinger about the kind of poops that old people take when they die just isn’t the comedy gold you thought it was. If anyone reading this steals that joke I will kill you.
So how do you tell a joke? I honestly don’t know. I’d like to say something deep about bearing your soul and exposing injustice but I won’t. I would define a joke as anything that anyone finds amusing and relatable. Even though most jokes that people tell are unconscious and instantaneous and you can’t really learn to be funny there are things you can do if you want to tell a joke:
Say something unexpected
Tricking someone into thinking you are going to say one thing and then saying the other is a common joke form. For example if you were to say:
Whenever I’m not feeling creative and need inspiration, I look into the eyes of a child…and realize how stupid they are.
That is funny, well not really, but you get the idea. You were expecting something cheesy about the unspoiled innocence of children and their incredible imaginations but instead: whammy!
Make Fun of Yourself
Another classic way to make people laugh is to apply your completely natural self-loathing to craft a hilarious knee slapper at your own expense. If you are someone who is sad inside, this behavior gives off the illusion of confidence and self-assuredness because people mistakenly believe that only the well-adjusted are secure enough in who they are to take the piss out of themselves. Unfortunately for sad clowns everywhere, this is not the case. The key here is to make fun of yourself playfully, and not depressingly. Here’s an example of something I wouldn’t advise you say:
I’m terrible at soccer…sometimes I want to kill myself.
Actually, now that I’m reading that I realize how it is actually hilarious and that if someone said that to me I would probably lick their face out of admiration. So I correct myself, if you want to be the life of the party just walk around tellling everyone that you’re thinking of killing yourself.
Be A Human Being
Nothing is worse than a sociopath. Tell jokes that show that you aren’t some souless monster that feeds off of orphan tears. With your new joke telling abilities you will be able to easily dominate the minds of those around you. Avoid this urge. With great jokes comes even greater responsibility not to convince the masses that you are some sort of all-knowing, all-seeing demi-god, so don’t do that shit.
So this is where your training ends and your new life begins. So in that vein, go west, be free, and tell that joke about your hatred of immigrants that you’ve always wanted to tell! Because if you don’t, then who will? A lot of horrible racists probably, but you get the idea.
