Dead of Winter Movie Round-up: A Top 10 List
So, it’s cold as hell out, and it’s getting dark depressingly early… why not hole up with a warm beverage, some blankets, and the nearest pet or roommate? I for one am I huge sissy who will literally modify my social activity so that there is minimal contact with the outdoors. Somehow, watching films that feature people freeze their nuts off while curled up in your warm house takes the edge off, at least for me. Maybe I’m just a jerk. Anyway, here is my list of the ten best movies to Netflix for this purpose*:
1. The Shining – This is the gold standard of cabin fever, dead-of-winter insanity. Also, it’s scary as HELL. From the opening scene of a car winding through the mountains of Colorado set to fucking Stravinsky, you know you’re in for it, and this movie really lives up to the hype. Spoiler alert: freezing cold and buttloads of snow await!! Editor’s Note: The Shining also made Diana’s Top Ten Horror Picks.
2. Misery – Not for the faint of heart. While it’s not quite a scary movie, it definitely falls under the “psychological torture thriller” subgenre. Kathy Bates is awesomely insane, and, to me anyway, there’s quite a bit of comic relief in her performance. Again, Old Man Winter is a key player.
3. Let the Right One In – This is a great Scandinavian horror movie about a 12-year-old nerd boy who develops a crush on his new neighbor. Everything’s going great until people start turning up dead and drained of all their blood. Although this movie is moody, snowy, and bloody, there’s a sweet young-dorks-in-love subplot that’s endearing without being gross. Check it out!
4. The Royal Tenenbaums – This is probably one of my faves of all time, so I had to squeeze it in. Plus, the word “winter” is in the very first sentence of the movie, so there. Thanks, Alec Bladwin.
5. The Witches – A great movie adapted from a great Rohl Dahl book. I thoroughly enjoyed both growing up. The movie isn’t scary at all, but mostly just campy and good. Angelica Huston as the creepy head witch, lots of corny special effects, and Norwegian ghost story snazz. What’s not to love?
6. The Saddest Music in The World – Get ready to kill yourself! The title of this Guy Maddin movie is pretty self-explanatory. Fortunately, the sadness conveyed throughout the movie at time achieves over-the-top comic ridiculousness. It’s all Guy Maddin-y, with Isabella Rosselini, grainy, 20’s-era film, and snowy Canada.
7. Better Off Dead – Come on, John Cusack? Sexy foreign exchange students? Surly paperboys? A ski-off!? This kooky 1985 film is a no-brainer.
8. Fargo – Speaking of no-brainers, who doesn’t love Fargo? Wherever you are, you’re probably not as cold as it is there. Frances McDormand is as badass as ever in her role as a sassy preggo Minnesotan lady cop with a frumpy, doting husband.
9. Valley of The Dolls – This selection resonates with me for many reasons, but the main one is that some of the outdoor, winter scenes of Anne Welles’ hometown are filmed in MY homeland of Bedford, NY. The huge, crazy church where I took final exams, the movie theater, the flower shop where I worked in high school – all there, people. Plus this movie is just a boozy, yell-y gem of a film, and should be a cornerstone of any serious kitsch-lover’s collection.
10. Home Alone – Aaaaaah! Just kidding. This Christmas-y classic has all the adorable child actor, slapstick comedy, Joe Pesci you can possibly handle. Editor’s Note: Home Alone also made Cody’s Top Ten Holiday Movie Picks.
That’s what I’ve got. Send me all your “how could you leave out _____!?” comments, and let’s rap about it!**
*I guess it’s worth mentioning that if you don’t like scary movies, you won’t like my taste in movies. Sorry.
** I know I’m gonna hear about not including Dr. Zhivago on my list. I’ve never seen it! I’m just trying to keep it real over here…
