It’s Part III of It’s The Freakin’ Vegan, and today I’m here to discuss the cornerstone of any successful spread, vegan or non: pickles n’ olives. Oh, and I threw in some miscellaneous vegan snax that are easy and crowd pleasers. I hope that’s ok with you.
Olives
I probably don’t need to tell you about the glory and bounty of olives, but I will anyway. My personal preference is for picholine olives, which are either brine-cured, or more commonly in the U.S., cured with citric acid, aka lemon salt (I just learned about that here. Thanks again, Internet!). Apparently, back in the old country, they are marinated in coriander and herbes de provence, which sounds like it couldn’t possibly suck, but I always see them marinated in minced fresh garlic, rosemary, and jalapeno peppers. This probably contributes to my fondess for them. But don’t get me wrong; I don’t just like the briny, salty guys. These are pretty great as well. I also like some of the more exotic incarnations of stuffed olives: orange zest, garlic, almonds, and sun-dried tomatoes are all great for sticking in olives to make them bigger and yummier. Pitted olives are obviously optimal so you don’t have to deal with gross discarded pits, but we’re grown people, so just have an extra bowl on hand to cope with this fact of life.
Pickles
Oh man, do I like pickles. My recent favorites are garlic-y but not-all-the-way-pickled pickles. I don’t think that’s what they’re called. Anyway, this guy also makes excellent pickles, and I recommend them highly, especially the Windy-City Wasa-beans – spicy pickled string beans with a hint of wasabi in them. Homemade pickled carrots are and easy and yummy way to go: just spread out a bunch of carrot sticks in a casserole dish, sprinkle with several cloves of minced garlic and inch of fresh ginger (peeled and sliced up), and then pour a brine over them. Homemade brine can easily be made from boiling two cups vinegar of your choice, one cup brown sugar, two and a half teaspoons of the spices of your choice (I use cumin, garam masala, and pickling spice), and a few shakes of hot sauce if you’re into that sort of thing. Let these hang out, covered, in your fridge for at least 24 hours and up to 3 days. It’s a nice low-maintenance make-ahead option. I take back all those mean things I said about carrots. They are great pickled.
But why stop there with the pickle portion of your vegan-friendly spread? Why not get weird with it? Pickled mushrooms, preserved in white wine, lemon juice, and a boatload of fresh herbs is a great way to go. Many fancy-pants food places stock these, and they’re awesome, but I wager they could be made at home with great success. Pickled Japanese daikon is yummy, crisp, and colorful. Or maybe get Latin on some people’s asses with pickled red onions, made with a brine containing fresh lime juice and a pinch of oregano or epazote.
Kale chips
Hey! Wait! Come back here! They’re good! And cheap and easy and yummy and tasty. Here’s what you do: Preheat the oven to 350. Tear up a whole mess o’ kale into bite-sized pieces, toss with olive oil and a sprinkle of kosher salt. Bake on a parchment-lined or non-stick cookie sheet for ten minutes or less. The only mild ass pain associated with this recipe is that you kind of want to keep an eye on the oven to make sure they don’t burn, as this can quickly morph them from good to gross. Done right, they should be a little crispy but still a bright, emerald green. Yum.
Roasted Chickpeas
See above, dear reader: These are surprisingly yummy and easy. This recipe is simple and a major crowd pleaser, but once again, I recommend getting weird with the spices and seeing what you come up with. Spicy curry? Smoked paprika? Get in there!
In conclusion, there is a wide world of delicious food products that are edible by vegans, so much so that it’s entirely plausible to have a mega-spread that’s 100% vegan-friendly that might even “pass” with the omnis out there.
Click here to read Part I: How to Feed Vegans Who Like to Eat Yummy Things
Click here to read Part II: How to Feed Your Token Vegan Dinner Guest
